Maintaining friendships can be difficult for someone who doesn’t have the social skills to do so. There is the feeling that the person may not accept you as you are or that you are a blip on a person’s radar. Making friends and keeping them, especially as a grown up, is very difficult. This in combination with lack of social skills will make it even more so.
The thinking process
Does this person like me? Am I too weird? Sometimes there are negative thoughts and doubts when it comes to interacting with people. This is what can limit the ability to properly maintain a friend. Also, keeping yourself walled off can keep possible friends at bay instead of forming actual bonds. Being distant and short can push people away, which is not what you want if you actually want friends.
Reversing this thought process and thinking more positively will help a person to have healthy friendships. I’ve lost friends, and fortunately some were nice enough to be patient with me. Then, most recently, I realized that I’m not anyone’s enemy and I’m not as unlikable as I think I might be.
This year, I tried something. I sent out Christmas cards to the friends I appreciate the most. I thought it would be something totally exciting. This was my way of reaching out. Keeping friendships going takes effort on all parts. This could include simply being there in ways like being sure to ask how someone is doing and making plans to meet up. You have to make room and time in your life for others.
So, in all, positive thoughts and effort are what makes for tools in sustainable friendships. For more tips on effort and positive thoughts and actions, check out this incredible article from Lifehack.org